aisuru nagara, mondai ga itsumo aru.

sou da na..

honto ni..

kurushii dake do, nani mo dekinai..

ore wakatterunda zo..
kedo yo..

kono ai wa.. mou yamanain da..

shiru ka yo?

maa... atarimae da..

hitori de mou kangaeta sono mono wa..

omokashiinakute.. kanashiitakute..

fuwaaa...

hitotsu mono ga aru.





ore no jinsei... mou kirai da yo..

i have an individual papers for the latest happenings, but it's kind of absent today.. (those experiences i have when i was in my relatives' house in the philippines and other stupid stuffs..) anyway, i'll post it some other time.

today is wednesday, so our soccer team held a practice this morning and later in the afternoon. juki, hiroki and daite are in that team (yah, only masusata and i are the leechers there watching them like fans and i was even hit on my left leg.. o.o) and their coach demanded them to be very strict on their performance since seiken would be competing with a school from kanagawa-ken.
at lunch time, we ate on the rooftop (my suggestion by the way) and later they decided to cut our math class. i said no (actually they got surprised: i was their cutting prince u.u) and i proudly said that i had made my computations back at home and I HAD MY ASSIGNMENT so i wouldn't waste it. i was now a good influence to them-- they copied my answers though.. u.u

we would spend a night in our house (yah, they are all here right now) to rehears some of our pieces we would play this valentines' fair.

SHOBU GA ARU!!! the one who will have the biggest number of chocolates received will win (they don't want me to be included though.. T.T) and will receive a kiss from shizume (so they changed their minds and included me then).

--Other past Moments--

kowata-sensei want me to sing "piece of my wish" on this coming fair. is she dumb??!! it's a girl song, uzuraton kachi!!

i again encountered yuki the last time. well, he keeps on asking questions like, what's with my profile, who's uchiha sasuke and why would i hide from a kakashi and so other nonsense. i keep on answering then, telling him about what's going with me recently and my latest problem. he suddenly got quiet and leave me alone for minutes, until he again asked.. but a little different from his previous questions.
i answered him, "i'm no longer shuuichi.. don't ask anymore, the reason is you.."

shindou shuuichi is my most favorite character.. we got the same name and the birthdate (i wonder if murakami-sensei knew me.. O.o) but we are quite different.

i am a person who easily gets annoyed at the people around me.

.... a person who knows nothing but to prove people that i'm strong so no one can beat me.

.... a person who loves only himself.

i only changed when i met someone who was as cold as i am.. and the first male person i loved more than to my own self..

oh well, we were done anyway..
i don't want to go again to california just to be fucked then later will be dumped...

never again...

hmph!!

anyway, back at my story, he told me "baka" and went off. i hardly sighed with it.. but then he again got on and told me that he would snatch me away from my fiancee and girlfriend.. just like i did on him. (as i remember, he got a fiance that moment, and at their wedding, i stampeded at the ceremony and took him away.. XD) and he even said "mark yuki eiri's words, shuuichi"

fuwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh....


i have a problem with shizume and kari-chan.. and now, yuki re-enter the scenery..




ore no jinsei o kirai nanda yo...

kudaranai na.....

the best thing about being an only child is that you can get anything you want; anything you wished for.

and this theme doesn't do anything in what would i say in my first entry.

yup, this is my first entry in my online "diary". and it feels so weird, according to my stupid best friend. anyway, what would i say now?

nothing happened special today.. ahh, maybe that incident can be special. XD juki and daite climbed off the tree and juki fell. daite is a monkey so it's no surprise he climbed up without mistakes. they want me to try it out, and i did. and now, my thigh sore.
speaking of stupid school stuffs, we had vegetables and a garlic soup for lunch. shizume just bought tonkatsu which is not from tobechan no so it sucks. (but still it's tonkatsu so i ate it up, haha).
baby heartthrob club sent me an exclusive "post-valentine greeting" with a lot of love letters and a super sweet chocolate made by my ex-girlfriend kawagano hikari. (so sweet, i almost got the toothache.. =.=)

i talked like i don't have a problem. actually i have..

my dad had this witch-like lady as a girlfriend.. and actually, i'm so pissed on how she acts like she's already my mother. yesterday, she started questioning me about my performance in school. i was talking to my DAD then, why would she interfere and talk nonsense. i told her to shut up, and i headed to my room. shizume, my fiancee-to-be who was also there, tried to end up the conversation, but then the witch yelled to her that she's a "bitch".
that was the moment i felt like crumbling.. someone actually got hurt because of her.

i can't even remember my mom's face.. except when i'm looking at her pictures.. and i can't even recall those days i'd spent with her.. but i know.. my mom is the greatest.. and she will always be..

i'll curse that witch. i can never had any mom except my mother.

later, i'd talk to my recent girlfriend who's in manila right now, carissa. the hurt subsides anyway.. and i feel relieved..